Author: ejanchen2

the seasons pass quite like a song twiddling leaves mismatched chairs asynchronous  humdrum  of cicada love songs. staring out the same window i’ve always been, i no longer bleed, yet mutilated colors leak from twigs and trees. the old familiar pang in my chest speaks. reminding me the words to the mantra of my mortality.  […]

January 18, 2023 The easiest way for me to recall memories to words is through composing a letter. Those that know me well know that I’ve always had a death wish. Not the kind that you want to be granted when your time finally comes, but the raw, unbridled anger that you’re still here when […]

Jojo- When I thought I was never going to see you again, I tried to write to you dozens of times. When I would pick up my pen, I’d stare listlessly at my notebook in front of me. The notebook filled with words scrawled every which way, in script I barely recognize as my own. […]

Bruises in ink No words to find Scrawled through the memory Once belonging to the Supposed queen of the jungle. Curlicues and many,  So many lines.  Script in waterfalls Pouring around her From all sides.  Who decides A tiger is a tiger? That royalty is royalty? That a girl is a woman? Who nurtures the […]

how do you always know there is love or lack thereof fingers running through ebony skin hair charity please don’t take this personally when we sip on happiness in liquid form i feel such an internal storm watch clouds billow into endless white you do away with my eternal night will you wait in freestyle […]

How rare to find one Staring out into the sea With longing Or is it despair? I can’t tell Through the glisten in your eyes. The same gossamer sheen Spiderwebs at sea Reflected in cataracts Drifting off in cloudy dreams. To those doe brown eyes that I know so very well —  What do you […]

for how many  so many years and years i’ve caught you looking all over me could you tell me did you count all the years so many years it’s been  just you and me all the tears i’ve cried that were  never for you through all the years and yet even after so many too […]

As you grow older You find The monsters you once thought Hid under the bed Were made up, Mere figments of imagination. And the older you get The less you fear The less there is To trouble you Because the older you get The smarter you become More cognizant, more aware More developed And the […]

Do you ever get tired Of how I always tell you Just how fragmented I feel? Does it wear you out? When I tell you, I cannot rest Cannot sleep Cannot eat Cannot so much As put on socks Because reaching for the drawer Is just that much of a chore? Do I annoy you? […]

December 14, 2020 Dear Juliet, You’re the first of my therapists that I didn’t call “doctor” or refer to with a title of any kind. For me, I think at least, this made my experience with you all the weirder at first. In the last few months, you’ve helped me learn a lot about myself. […]