storage shelf

There’s a space against my wall i’ve avoided for long

So long in fact, it’s collected some dust

So long that it’s seen many men come and go

I brush the cobwebs aside, I brush my tears away

Today i’ve decided i will clear away the grey

I’ll fill it with memories so painful they sting

I’ll fill it with sorrow rimmed like a ring

A dab of bittersweet, enough to taste

Enough to remember that life still has grace

The thought of you lingers in the air like a fog

The thought of you suffocates more than smog

The adventures, the nights we laid on our sides

The fights we sat silent on long car rides

The yelling, the panic rising in smoke up above

And then peace re-enters as gentle as a dove

Phone calls, never understanding why

You had to be out there happy as i cry

Silence crackling across the distant line

Tears as i waited for any kind of sign

That you wanted me but instead a dreadful thought

That maybe it was her, i can’t, it’s just a lot

But then the cycle goes merry go round

Around we wander, around and around

Dancing treacherous side stepping along

Ignoring the bellowing, resounding wrong

And we keep dancing, blissful bliss

Continuing the waltz when so much is amiss

The nights i laid wide awake because of you

The days i felt the whole sky blue

The widening gaping holes in my skin

Biting, dangerous, i really can’t win

Because it’s you, the world revolves around you

Black and white with no in-between hue

Ebony wood in my soul deep

My darkest secrets may you keep

In your hollow, i raise you high

Cover this damned wall with all its ties

All its stories, its thoughts of him

So maybe not men just that single him

He’s enough to drive me mad

And crazy and happy and wildly sad

But he’s gone now and the smell lingers

Rotting now at the tip of my fingers

And i’m left with just me

Confused and aching, unable to see

Ebony wood, sacred shelf

Take with you the girl that was myself

The part of me that had him a long time ago

The part of me that truly loved him so

The girl no longer, the girl that was

The girl alone now without pause

But i don’t want to be the girl that was

The girl who died without a cause

So ebony wood, i give you part of me

And i’ll stow it away with lock and key

Keep her safe, those memories of mine

I’ll still wake up tomorrow, I will be fine.

There was a space against my wall a while ago

But i built a shelf to store my love away

Until another comes along worthy, another for my heart to take.