Ode to Social Anxiety

There are faces everywhere and i can’t see

What’s in front of me, what’s out there

Can you hear me, i know i’m a bit quiet

I’m just hiding here among the masses

Biding my time, uncertain, unsure,

Calling, alone, curious

How do you do it?

So carefree, unabashedly

Unidentified bodies crashing down around me

I’m trapped in this cave, voices, voices

They capture me and hold me hostage

Are they friendly? Do they bite?

I don’t dare look

They might recognize me and move closer

Their slithery serpentine faces, sleek with words

Oiled to perfection, ready to fire

So many eyes aimed at my tongue

Pausing ever still in anticipation

Sometimes it all clicks into place

I can feel the well-oiled machine

Feel my bones crack and my body purr

Trust my instincts, the lights are bright

I step into the spotlight

It’s my time to shine

But there are other dismal dreary days

I am awkward and something gnaws inside

Eats away at my heart, the devil worm

Where has all my practice gone?

I’m losing patience, the pressure is high

Their bug eyes creeping, lurking, hovering

I’m forgetting the script

The carefully rehearsed lines running, pacing

Their expectant stares, my stuttering teeth

I panic, i give up, i wasn’t enough today

Next time i’ll try harder to remember all i wanted to say

But i guess that’s just how things are

You give and you take, you earn and you lose

I’ll weather their sighs, their pointed remarks

I’m not afraid of them, just a tad nervous

And i’ll recover the strength someday soon

When it all clicks into place again

I’ll be waiting this time, ready.